My voice cracked and squeaked throughout the session so much, I asked Crystal if she were sure she wanted me onstage with her. She affirmed that she did, and assured me that this was nerves and I'd be fine once I got in front of the audience. Not likely, I thought.Ellen disappeared for a while, and reappeared with two small steak dinners. She explained, "This will give you some protein and carbs and keep your tummy from squawking onstage where everyone could hear it." She watched me pick at it, and commanded me to eat. Ellen sat close to me, again inside my personal space and even putting an arm around me to rub my back, talking in a friendly way and trying to get me to relax. Crystal seemed to have a nice connection with Ellen, and didn't seem jealous in the least that she'd sidled up to me.After the light dinner, we rehearsed a couple of more songs, particularly one song where I had a long solo verse. My voice was doing slightly better. Steak is my 'go-to' comfort food.I hadn't. Just. Suck only. Mouth or face. Best you can get. A small contribution. I’m in and I stay in. Sleaze. Cock. Hot. The stench of sweat (not mine). Sleaze. Words, rough words from his mouth. Another trigger. Euphoria. Cum. A big load, a small contribution. And I’m out.I inhale. I exhale. And I walk again. Another sound, another gesture. I’m in. More sweat, more sleaze, more cum. Another contribution. And repeat, again. And again.I walk again. Reality is beginning to creep back. I’m done, I think, and I start to walk back, back down this catwalk of tarmac and empty wrappers. My heels on the tarmac, grating now. Conspicuous in a bad way. I’m almost out, but there a twitch. A curtain. I’m walking that way as it is, so I skirt closer to the lorry in question. The window’s down, on this cold, cold night, but the curtain’s still drawn. I stop, I wait, I’m not staying. A twitch. The curtain goes back. A head. A face. A quiet voice. “Busy?” I shrug, I smile. I’m in.Not like the others. Not.
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